I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
