I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
