I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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