ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
