I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
