my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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