I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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