I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
