Are we in a gay sports bar?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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