Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Quick, to the slutcave!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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