i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
