you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
