remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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