Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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