I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
time to smoke my breakfast
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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