You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
