youre lurking in front of me
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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