I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
