she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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