idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
