Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize