There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize