You can't motorboat a personality
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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