I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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