you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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