Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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