they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
