his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
