Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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