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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...

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• (831): View more from California

  Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777

  (323): View more from California

  Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)

  (831): View more from California

  Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

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• (64): View more from New Zealand

  Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT

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• (940): View more from Texas

  You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  He passed out in my car.

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  What's the problem?

  (217): View more from Illinois

  HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.

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• (661): View more from California

  ever feel bored AND lazy?

  (805): View more from California

  I call it "awake" but yeah...

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