Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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