I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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