I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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