I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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