Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
