You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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