My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
