dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
