Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
