i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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