If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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