You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
