Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
