lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize