oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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