If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
