a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
