He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
