Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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