There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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