how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
