They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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