Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
