You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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