im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
