You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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