Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
