You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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