i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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