Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I love having hate sex.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
