Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
