she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
