I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize