yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
