He kissed a someone with a penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
