she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
