Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
