jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
