that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
